By: Robert Avsec, Executive Fire Officer
There’s been a firestorm of comments across social media following last week’s release of Battalion Chief Kathleen
Stanley’s letter of resignation as the “point person” (What does that even mean?) for the Women’s Program within the Fairfax County (Va.) Fire Rescue Department. That’s the same department, you’ll recall, where Firefighter/Paramedic Nicole Mittendorf was cyber-bullied to the point she felt suicide was her only option, an option that she took in April 2016.
In response to her death, did the department launch a full-scale investigation to find out what happened and who was responsible for such a tragedy? No, instead the department’s leaders commissioned a third-party study to assess the organizational culture and attitudes within the department (Because that’s what real leaders do when faced with a huge problem. They commission studies by third-party consultants. Joke: What’s the definition of a consultant? Someone you hire to tell you what time it is using your watch).
My fire service colleague and fellow contributor to FireRescue1.com, Linda Willing, wrote a powerful piece of prose where she provided some analysis for the report. Willing’s assessment was that the report, which while including many valuable insights and recommendations, fell short when it came to really dealing with the primary issue: personal accountability.
Enter the International Association of Women in Fire and Emergency Services
Coincidently, the International Association of Women in Fire and Emergency Services (iWomen) has its iWomen 
International Conference 2018 scheduled for May 2018 in (wait for it!) Fairfax County, Virginia. And the hosting agency is…the Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department. Yes, you read that right. The same fire and rescue department mentioned at the start of this article.
Now some iWomen members have questioned the wisdom of going forth with the planned conference in Fairfax County with the fire and rescue department as the host agency. The iWomen leadership put out a press release reaffirming its commitment to hold the conference in Fairfax County.
Stand by for blistering commentary for a 60-year-old, white, male retired battalion chief in 1…2…3
What are you ladies thinking of? You want to show support for Battalion Chief Stanley and the rest of the women of the Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department? Then announce that you’ll not bring the iWomen conference to Fairfax County until the fire chief and his senior staff are gone.
Do any of you truly believe that showing up and conducting the conference is the right response? You would be the “visiting team” playing a game on the fire chief’s “home court” and the “referees” are all “homers.” And we all know how those games usually turn out.
Listen to the language of other women firefighter commentators (on Facebook):
“If these accusations [by Battalion Chief Stanley] prove to be true…”
WTF? Battalion Chief Stanley has put herself out there as a modern-day Joan of Arc and people who talk like that are helping to “pile up the wood” for her burning at the stake.
Some of you are just as tone-deaf as the Chairperson of the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors—a woman for crissakes! –who’s standing by “her man” and attempting to “water down” Chief Stanley’s documentation of events as “accusations.”
Fairfax County Board of Supervisors Chair Sharon Bulova says she takes all concerns seriously and has gone through each of Stanley’s complaints with Fire Chief Bowers. “We have a fantastic fire department and members have been working very hard to bring changes,” said Bulova. Bulova said she has not talked to Stanley about her allegations but believes they are “not a correct representation of the work that going on.” (Source: WUSA-News 9. http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/fairfax/top-woman-leader-in-fairfax-fire-dept-resigns-in-scathing-letter-to-chief/512723943).
Take your conference to another location—preferably one with a woman fire chief—and use the media buzz over taking such drastic action as your platform to show Chief Stanley for the heroic figure she is and how women are not going to take it anymore. And demonstrate that women in the fire service are no longer interested in talking and “making nice” to try to effect change.
That strategy hasn’t been working and it’s not going to work. This is a watershed moment in history for women in the fire service. Here’s the department who did nothing to help Firefighter/Paramedic Nicole Mittendorf before she came to believe that suicide was her only option. They said they would change after that, but two years later you have a firefighter who feels comfortable enough to bring a penis-shaped water bottle into the fire station. And his mates feel comfortable enough to help him “customize” it using duct tape to give it testicles.
This situation with the iWomen’s conference should be addressed–in my humble opinon–with a total boycott of Fairfax County. It’s no longer just about the fire chief and his senior staff, not since the Chairperson of the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors–a woman, no less–publicly stood by the fire chief and referred to Battalion Chief Stanley’s statements of facts as “accusations.”
And where’s the “call out” for all the male firefighters in Fairfax County? Where have they been for the past two
years–since Nicole Mittendorf’s suicide? Why are they not standing up for their “sister” firefighters and demanding the fire chief’s firing?
Don’t go to Fairfax County. Actions speak louder than words. What will your actions be?
After my first read of this I had several scathing comments about what I felt were “head in the sand” comments. Such as: 1. Do you really think, given the County Board of Supervisors response, the chief and his senior staff are on their way out if iWomen don’t hold the conference there? 2. Chief Stanley’s public resignation made it abundantly clear that there are MAJOR issues with the culture of that organization. Given that, what deaf ears within such an organization would heed a “call out” for male firefighters to stand up for their sister. I would think if they felt they could safely do so, they would have done so already. Not to mention, if the culture is in the terrible condition it appears to be, which male firefighters would even care to; and 3. iWomen probably truly believe they are supporting Chief Stanley by continuing the conference there as she is in for a ride. Has she already heard what ‘damage’ she is doing to the organization and Fairfax County as a hold? Will she be ‘responsible’ for the loss of business revenue that the conference can bring while it is there?
There is a lot unknown about what is happening in Fairfax County and somewhere in the telling of all the stories, the ugly truth lies. There are good firefighters and staff within that organization. I have met some of them. Chief Stanley is brave for bringing forth what are serious problems in that organization that no doubt exist as she is willing to face the storm coming her way head on. I have read the press release from iWomen and I believe they feel they can champion the cause by not “running and hiding” as well as show support for Chief Stanley. But as much as I want to support their decision, I have to agree with you on the matter of moving the conference elsewhere. The conference can be a wonderful opportunity for Fairfax County Fire Rescue Department and the Board of Supervisors to put a shadow of doubt over Chief Stanley’s statements. I agree that moving the conference makes a strong statement about what iWomen stands for. But that decision will not be without cost to that organization and women in the fire service. We still have a very long way to go and it will take more Chief Stanleys, Robert Avsecs and organizations like iWomen to get us there. And for those who wonder why we need to be there; so Firefighter Nicole Mittendorf’s life and death means something and no one feels they have to die to so that a career in the fire service can be a safe choice for everyone.